Stop to care about other peoples opinion
In my last article I raised the point that we have to stop caring about what other people are thinking, in order for us to say “NO”. Similarly, we can’t take every feeling or opinion of other people into account, if we want to stay our own ground and reach our goals. Yes, we have to be selfish and arrogant, if that is the price to reach our goals. After all, we don’t want to be Mr. Nice Guy anymore.
Because of that, if we want to improve ourselves and our life, we have to filter our environment. Most of it will consist of other nice guys or losers. That’s just how it is. “Men” who have to ask their wife’s if they are allowed to go out or what clothes they should wear. “Men” who are staying in relationships or jobs they hate, but are too afraid to leave. Finally, “Men”, who are wasting away all their resources with unproductive thinks like getting wasted, watching porn or playing video games.
Seems like the average nice guy to me. However, once we start listening to the average and surrounding ourselves with it, we become average too. Remember where the average man stands in the SMP. That is not where we want to be in life.
Social conditioning and shaming of men
Social conditioning has existed since the beginning of humanity. Likewise, there has always been leadership. On one side stood the fearless leader, the lion who did whatever he thought was right. While on the other side was the mob, the herd of sheep who followed the leader’s orders and did not care if they made sense or not. What was already true ages ago is still existing today.
In today’s age politicians, companies and (social) media are setting the direction, while the broad mass follows them without objection and without their own thinking.
Men who want to stand out from this broad mass and go their own way are rare and, thanks to social conditioning, will become rarer in the future. At least there are some counter-movements like “MGTOW” or “The Red Pill” that are trying to wake up the sheep, but they get heavily demonetized (e.g. various channels on YouTube) or shut down (e.g. Reddit “TRP”) by the mentioned leaders.
Real men are no longer welcome in the age of emancipation and gender mainstreaming. Consequently, if we speak our mind freely about those topics, we will be shamed as misogynists, toxic, asshole, simp, incel or simply a hater.
However, we have to go our own way and do not listen to what the stupid sheep around us have to say. This is the only attitude to improve our lives and evolve from the mainstream nice guys!
Of course, we take good and logical advice if it is offered to us, why not? This helps us to improve, so it is to our benefit. However, it is imperative to critically and logically think about the advice that is offered. Filter out the bad advices from the good ones.
How to filter out the good advices
As mentioned in other articles, I like to keep it simple. So, the simple answer is to always think logically and rationally. Consequently, we trust in our brains, not our heart.
Maybe an obese man is trying to give us nutrition tips. Do we trust his word on how to get lean and ripped? Of course not. It would be irrational to do so.
Similarly, if women are telling us how we should act to get women, do we trust their words and follow their advice? Of course not. If we want to learn how to fish, we ask a fisher with a good resume and experience, not the fish itself. Makes sense?
In my opinion it always helps to ask ourselves: Who is giving the advice and what qualifies the advice?
If we see shit, it smells like shit, feels like shit and probably taste like shit (don’t taste it please) then guess what: It probably IS shit.
Take note of the hard facts
All decisions that are made in business are following hard facts. If product “A” does not generate enough revenue, it will be no longer produced. Likewise, if it’s a fact, that producing in Asia is all in all cheaper than in e.g. Europe, you can bet your ass that the company will move its production to Asia. Similarly, if employee A is heavily underperforming, he will get fired.
Let us transfer this concept for our own benefits. Let us use hard facts if we have to make decisions. For the reason that hard facts are emotionless. They are the unfiltered, maybe ugly truth. They are following logic and reason, not emotions.
For example, of course it is hard to part ways with a woman, whom you spent a lot of time with. However, if the relationship is miserable now, due to the fact that she is maybe spending all the money on selfish things, doesn’t help at domestic work or is pretending to be sick, when you want to have sex, the hard facts are dictating to end it and don’t pay the opportunity cost anymore. Trust in the brain, not the heart!
Collect those facts, list them up. Then judge those facts logically and rationally and decide. Consequently, while the heart might still say “but I love her, let’s talk (again) and negotiate, etc.”, the brain says “it was a nice time, I learned a lot, but let’s move on to be happy again”.
Don’t be afraid to make a wrong decision
Above all, we are the captain and decide the direction of the ship that is our life. We can’t be afraid to decide in which direction we want to sail. We have to deeply believe that the decision we make is always the right choice. These decisions are part of life and characterize a real confident man.
Hence, we can’t let other people make decisions for us. For that reason, we can’t be afraid to decide. Maybe we will decide something, that in retrospect was indeed a mistake. So, what? Mistakes are an opportunity to grow. There is the saying, that smart people do make mistakes, but they won’t make the same mistake twice. Or “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me”.
In my opinion these are great inspirations to implement into our mindset. Mistakes are part of life and we can learn from them.
I make mistakes and made a lot in the last. Similarly, everyone makes mistakes. But these mistakes will not stop me from succeeding.
Finally, I hope I could motivate and inspire you to not be afraid of mistakes and / or making decisions. This also includes saying “NO” or not following the herd of sheep. Be not afraid of possible consequences, but be the real captain of your ship. Of course, it is also okay to admit mistakes and correct the course of the ship, but we do not talk about it at every opportunity given to us. Consequently, that would undermine our competence and capability as the captain of our ship.
However, it is fine to admit to ourselves and others, that we have already made mistakes in our lives, without naming the exact details. This will strengthen us and our standing, because only strong people can admit mistakes.