Learn to say “NO”
„NO“ is one, if not the, most powerful word we can use. For many people it is hard to say, since they fear repercussion or consequences. Likewise they do not want to be labeled as arrogant or selfish people by others. Maybe because they are afraid of being left on their own, if they are not liked by everyone.
What ever those reasons may be, since we want to evolve from being a typical nice guy, it is vital for us to learn how to say “NO”. We have to stay our ground and say “NO”, if something is happening that we don’t want. “Fuck you money” can certainly help us to do so, but in addition, we also have to stop caring about what other people think. The lion does not care what the sheep thinks.
Examples of saying “NO”
Refusing something has several benefits. Let me show you some examples first:
1. Question: “Can you lend me money?”
=> “NO”! (Internal reasoning: I need my money right now for investing and especially don’t lend it to gold-diggers.)
2. Question: “Can you skip your training / business / learning / whatever you are doing today and help me with this bullshit / chill all day long on the couch with me / go out and drink heavily with me / etc.?”
=> “NO”! (Internal reasoning: I have dreams to fulfill and goals to reach. I have to put effort into it and can’t afford to waste my time right now.)
3. Question: “Better skip the idea of building your own business and keep your secure job”
=> “NO”! (Internal reasoning: I want to build several sources of income to improve my SMV and life situation. Furthermore there is no secure job in the first place. Security is only given by multiple different streams of income.)
Benefits of saying “NO”
Due to the examples above you might already get the point by now, but let me elaborate a bit on what is happening here:
1. “NO” gives us control
If we can say no, we can control any given situation. Scientific studies have shown that men who have no control feel overwhelmed with even the simplest tasks and are more susceptible to mental disorders.
2. “NO” forces us to think about our goals and focus on them
To be able to say “NO”, we first have to find out what we really want. For example, if someone asks if we want to eat pizza, we have to ask ourselves, if we a) are actually hungry, b) actually want to eat pizza and c) if it fits into our meal plan. , so our priority is to stay disciplined to a meal plan. Consequently, our answer is “NO”.
3. “NO” shows that we have priorities in life
Whoever says no has power. As a result of us saying “NO”, we signal to other people that we are setting priorities in life, that we are not being distracted or swayed by outer influences. After all, we are the capable captain who keeps his ship on track to its set destination. While if we would be a bad captain, we would never reach the destination we headed out for or even worse, our ship might crash. Hence nice guys are bad captains.
Due to the benefits explained above we have to learn to say no. Rather a hard and clear “NO”, not some wishy-washy version of it.
Consequently, if we don’t want to do something we say it very clearly without grand explanations or justifications. “No” and not “No! Usually I eat and love pizza, it really tastes great, but right now I am on a diet, maybe we can grab one next xxx if you like!”
As a result, such lamentation shows that we lack backbone and are too weak for a clear “NO”. Consequently, only a clear “NO” shows strength and control, while verything else is spineless nice guy stuff, full of fear.
Happy practicing men!