First 8 steps of our awesome NiceGuyEvolution
First steps are always hard. As a nice guy, we know that we are lacking something, but we dont know exactly what it is. Nonetheless we are searching for answers and solutions and want to fix everything at the same time asap. This is not realistic.
Changing our behaviors that we were practicing day in day out is a long process. We have to take baby steps and change one thing at a time. I will present you some first tips and fixes in regards to women, that you can use for practice. From time to time I will use “we” instead of “you”, since we are all in the same boat and I am by no means perfect either. Enjoy reading and let us beginn our NiceGuyEvolution!
1. Fake it till you make it!
You probably heard of this saying. Usually I am not a big fan of “Fake it till you make it!”, because it implies something bad, like an imposture. It implies that we are trying to convince the outside world that we are someone else. Like building the image of being a doctor, despite not actually being one. It is bad, because sooner or later, e.g. when we have to actually operate a patient, that image will crumble to dust. We will be exposed as a fraud and getting shamed for it.
However, we have to practice the behavior of the person we actually want to be and everyone has to start somewhere. Most of the times, when we want to learn something from a role model, we observe, try to imitate and want to learn for ourselves what works and what not. So, I propose that we take the approach of “Fake it till we become it!”, because this implies a positive process towards a goal we want to reach.
We accept that it is a process and not a quick and dirty fix. Therefore, it is a more positive mindset. We accept that we are lacking something, so we are practicing to become a better version of ourselves. It is not about being an imposture for some vile operation. Makes sense?
2. Do not discuss your feelings!
Never talk about your deepest feelings with a woman. Stop. Do not do it. Be solid like a big, cold and hard rock that can deal with any wave of emotions coming its way. I will write an article about this later on, but for now you have to trust and believe me. Talking about your deepest feelings with a woman will lower your value, because it shows a weakness to her. Weakness that she can and probably will use for her own benefit.
I do not talk about holding hands or hug her, more like about telling her that you like her after a few dates and stuff like that. Always keep her on her toes and second guessing. Yes, it is a disgusting thing to do, but no one said that we are the hero in this story. Remember or take note:
3. Do not talk endlessly about yourself!
Do not psychoanalyze yourself to her. Again, we have to keep a sense of mystery about ourself. If you are more on the introvert side of personalities, this will be an easy task for you. As an extrovert however, take a step back. If you have the urge to analyze yourself and talk about some deep psychological shit, do it with a friend.
4. Master Goodbyes!
Always be willing to let her go. I would even go so far and say that we should be the person, to say good bye first. Like at a first date, try to end it at its peak with a kiss. Try to leave her wanting more. Show that you are a man with options.
If she says good bye first, no problem, smile and say yes. Give her the feeling, that you are fine with it. Don’t clinch on her or beg her not to leave. Your life does not depend on her. She is the cherry on top your awesome cake. Again, be strong like a big rock and show that you are fine on your own, that you don’t need her to survive.
5. Try to establish body contact early!
Show her that you are a man and have a dick between your legs. No, don’t take your dick out and lay it in the table. Start by trying to establish body contact. Show her your intent and purpose. That you are here, because you find her attractive and because you want to get intimate with her, not because you want to be her next best friend.
Note that women are the gatekeeper of sex. It is our job to establish body contact and try to pass the gate keeper, while it is her job to stay guard and allow only as much body contact as she wants to.
Always assume that she likes you, as long as she is staying with you. Even if your courage and straightforwardness will not get immediately rewarded, like blocking your first attempt to kiss, as long as she is staying with you, it is fine to try again later. If she blocks your second or third attempt too, accept it without much emotions and hassle. Do not cry about it like a child. Always be willing to take the risk of her leaving.
What are some good ways to establish body contact?
Try to tease her. Make the conversation fun. When going into a place, try to lay your hand on her back and lead her in. While emphasizing a point in conversation, try to touch her. When she says something really funny, touch her knee, look her in the eye and make fun of her. Like “did you really just say that? I was actually starting to like you”, while you put a big fat smirk on your face. After establishing these small little touches, it is also far easier to go in for a kiss later on, because it is no cold turkey move and simply natural.
6. During sex, be the dominant part!
Take a note from “50 Shades of Grey”. Practice complete dominance in bed. Do not be a gentleman, be a barbarian! Take her like you earn her. The only limits should be the legal regulations or her saying a hard no.
7. Your life is not about her (or any other person)!
Do not stalk her 24/7. Focus on your goals, career, finances, fitness, etc. You dont have time to always write immediately back, when she sends you a text. Do not always write or engage her first either. Women are not the center of your life and they do not want to be seen as such. They are the icing on your cake. Not the cake itself. Do not put them on a pedestal.
Follow this not only in regards to women, but for any other person too.
8. Write with purpose, not because of boredom
In today’s age we lead many conversations by text. It goes without saying that you have to write like a man if you text with a woman. Don’t write a book. Try to set up dates or phone calls. Keep the goal in mind: To meet her and to fuck her. That is what this man-woman stuff is all about. For this to be happening we have to set up a meeting in person. If you text with a girl endlessly, it will not happen. Try to not answer every question that gets thrown your way. Keep your goal in mind, set the frame of your conversations and keep it like a unmovable rock.
So here it is, the first steps on our way to become a better man. Some tips are easy to follow. Some of them have to be tested by yourself, because you will only truly believe them afterwards. Reference experience is key. Personally, I am still struggling with some of them myself. However, the concepts and ideas presented in this article will definitely work and you will notice improvements. Always remember: In the end it comes down to us being a man. Nothing more, nothing less. Be honest, courageous and authentic about what you want and the rest will find its way.